Lego house

It's been like forever since my last post.

2012 ended with a bang!
Loljk it was boring as fuck

Looking back, lotsa shit happened last year.
Oh wait, I actually talked about this end of year review thing alr, I just realized hahaha

Since I don't really have anything much to say,
ADHD TIME!

I've become a better babysitter.

I want a guitar badly D:

Current playlist: Jason mraz and Muse with a pinch of Ed sheeran.

Oh I can't find job apparently.
Fcuk.

Flying back soon. But no idea wtf am I gonna do

I'm getting flabbier. Über sad face

The more time pass, the more I think I'll become a forever alone. Mega über sad face

I miss my friends :((((((

My ADHD time is getting sadder. I need to change topic

I had my fill of the indo food I had been craving :D

I don't like silence, unless I want to sleep.

That said, I once freaked out because I was alone. Apparently, that might be a sign of clinical depression.

I want to go kayaking, diving, rock climbing, snorkeling etc. My ODACer blood is boiling again LOLOL

I can't wait for the A level result to come out. You O level peeps are lucky shit to get your result back so soon.

I wonder if there is anyone from my sec school going to SA.

I haven't watched the hobbits yet. Boohoo

Okay I think I have said enough nonsense to make this post long enough.

I should shower soon.

Toodles~

P.S.
My Korean brother, stay strong!! You can pull through this shit!

I'm gonna pick up the pieces and build a Lego house
If things go wrong we can knock it down
My three words have two meanings
But there's one thing on my mind
It's all for you

And it's dark in a cold december
But I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broke ln I'll mend ya
And keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on

I'm out of sight
I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done, I think I love you better now

"I feel like I'm dragged more and more into shit hole"

If it kills me

Hello, tell me you know, yeah you figured me out
Something gave it away
it would be such a beautiful moment to see that look in your face
to know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Cause you and I, while we go carrying on for hours on end
We get along much better than you and your boyfriend

All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me

Well, how long can I go on like this, wishing to kiss you
before I rightly explode
Well, this double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all
Cause maybe there's a lot I miss in case I'm wrong


All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me, if it kills me

If I should be so bold, I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said a word I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again


Well, all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me
It might kill me

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100th POST!! PREPARE FOR THE LONGEST POST EVERRRRRRR

Oh I can't believe I'll live to see the day when the post count reach 100 :')
I'd like to thank the academy for giving me this opportunity to have this speech
I'd also like to thank my family and friends, without them, I wouldn't have gone this far
And lastly, my adoring fan, for without you, I'd had live for nothing

HAHAHA
Jokes aside, it's been pretty happening since my last post
let's see, the last post was 27th November at 12:06 am
That was the A level Chem paper 1 if i'm not wrong
It went pretty smoothly I guess
I don't remember anything much till 3rd December, which is Bio paper.
It was a little hell-ish, yet managable
after that we went to watch ah boys hahaha

4th was the day when I became a girl
I spent 9 hours looking for clothes
HAHAHA
really felt like a girl
the major difference is, girls will bring back 5 bags full of clothes and shoes
as for me, I only bought a blazer and a shirt
9 hours for two pieces of clothes
*fail shopper*

On the 5th, went out with secondary school friends
we went gardens by the bay
funny thing is, the organiser came like 5 hours late HAHAHA
that was the first time I actually tried skyping outdoor
pretty cool eh?? :D
after that had dinner at bakerzin
it was pretty awesome
and we spammed a lot of pics hahaha. *camwhore mode*

Ivanka got me an early christmas pressie!!

This DYI thingy actually can turn if you shine a bright enough light on the solar cell

cool shit!

I made it in the middle of the night at 1 am since I can't sleep HAHAHA

Okay then comes prom!

The girls all look so prettay hahaha

and I look so handsome

I mean more handsome than usual HAHAHA :D

Prom was pretty boring actually

It's the preparation that's fun

Either way, after prom is over, we get maybe a lil high in the hotel

hahaha

then after prom!

Avalon was okayy

but i expected more from a club :/

it was pretty fail since two of us can't get in cause  nvr bring IC

but it was a pretty cool experience.

first time in a club hahaha

feel so kiddo

the next day

I realize how depressing it is to stay alone

while I sometime thing that crowds can be stupid, I realize how i can't survive alone

i'm growing madder if I need to stay in a house alone with nobody

I'm so not independent

wheh

Last sunday went out with sis and changwon

watched rise of guardian

as much as people say that it's nice, I can't really enjoy the movie since i find it very kiddish

hahaha now I feel old

10th December!!

Everything with Fries at Holland V with Bao, Bryan, Don, Sarah, Tiff, and Jo!

followed by island creamery and Wala wala! their live band not too bad luh, considering it's one of their less popular day

Grilled pork chop!!

ah my life so happening suddenly

Okay I should sleep soon

Almost 2 alr!

Toodles~

When I look into your eyes

it's like watching the night sky

or beautiful sunrise

There's so much they hold

and just like them old stars

I see that you've come so far

to be right where you are

how old is your soul

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

Still looking up

and when you're needing your space

to do some navigating

I'll be here patiently waiting

to see what you find

Cause even the stars, they burn

Some even fall to the earth

We've got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

No I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily

I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use

the tools and gift we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake

And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend for us to work

we didn't break we didn't burn

We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in

I had to learn what I've got and what I'm not and who I am

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up, still looking up

I won't give up on us

God knows I'm tough enough

We've got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

"Even after all that, I really hope that we can still be the good friend that we are :)"

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I cried :(

You know any work of fiction has an awesome story when you actually have attachment to the characters
Indeed, that game has a beautiful, yet saddening story :'(

Oh well, It's late and I should be sleeping soon

Toodles~

Nevermind I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best of you
Don't forget me I beg
I remember you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
but sometimes it hurts instead

"I wish I can have a taste of that feeling I had when you're around me once more"

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(ALMOST) END OF YEAR REFLECTION

12:46 am
I'm supposed to be asleep
Yet here I am, eyes fully opened
Mind fully awake

It's Sunday
Whoops, Monday alr
I just dunno why but I feel like reflecting what has happened this year so far
Kind of stupid since 2012 still has a little more than a month left
I'm not gonna care about that and blog anyway LOLOL

2012
One of the most happening year of my life
Actually, when I think about it, it is the most happening year so far

Start of the year, I was just this guy who still hasn't realised that he's a J2
still slacking all the way, without giving a damn about things in the future
After that, CCA juniors came, and I just had that sudden realisation
I was like "Hey, I'm a senior now, like wth, time flies"
OEC was one of the most fun days in my entire JC life

Mid of the year, The horror started to kick in.
BT2 was around the corner, and I actually started mugging.
The A-level pressure was getting onto me I guess.
The fear of failing my exams just scared the living shit out of me that the laziest bastard on earth actually started mugging
This period was also, how should I say it, one of the happiest moment. if not the most, of my life
It was the time when I actually felt loved for once
I experienced that feeling when somebody that you really care about returned that same feeling to you
It was the kind of feeling that makes you go "errmm, it's so great that any word I use won't do it justice"
That feeling was beyond words

It's pretty unfortunate it was short lived though
Everything went downhill
Shit happened and everything just fell apart
I hit rock bottom, from happiest guy on earth to a melancholic, pathetic, miserable emo bitch
What's left of me was anguish, disappointment and greatest of all, sadness
It's the feeling of losing the precious thing.
Your love, your happiness, and most of all, your best friend
I became stupid, trying to calm my unstable mind with my fist
Walls were my best buddies for that short while
Yes, I know how stupid that is.

I thank god for having close friends to help me deal with that problem of mine
By the time of prelim, I think I have settled pretty much most of my pent up emotion
So it didn't screw me so badly *phew*
These friends of mine are treasure, gift that god has sent me, and I shouldn't and wouldn't take them for granted
It's also because of them that I can actually concentrate for my As too :)
Thanks guys. You know I love you peeps <3

Now, As is unofficially over.
Left with two MCQ papers.
I do believe I will not screw this up, unlike my GP which was, IMO, pretty horrible
but then again, GP is like my weakest subject next to econs :/

2012, left with a month.
after which uni life lies in store for me
I just hope I can get into the course that I want (Medicine, Pharmacy, I'm begging you, and NTU, you can go away)

Gosh, it took me like 1 hour 15 mins to write this goddamn long post.
It's 2:05
and I should REALLY sleep

Toodles~


Yeah, I, I know it's hard to remember
The people we used to be
It's even harder to picture
That you're not here next to me
You say it's too late to make it
But is it too late to try?
And in our time that you wasted
All of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my nights
You turned out the lights
Now I'm paralyzed
Still stuck in that time when we called it love
But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone
Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist
I would still be holding you like this
All those fairytales are full of shit
One more fucking love song I'll be sick

"I'm amazed by the fact that I can still be saddened even after all this time"

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CRAZY HANDS TRIED TO KILL ME D:

Waking up on the morning
Supposed to go utown early
But still lazing in bed :/
*oink*

I woke up from a nightmare.
It sucks :/
Flying hands appeared when I shower and tried to murder me
Now I think about it, it sounds more silly than scary.

Okay enough with the rambling.
I should wake up and shower now.

Toodles~

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in
Cause I've got time while she got freedom
Cause when the heart break no they don't break even

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces

"I wish things can go back to how it used to be"

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Fun fact: Albert is a pig

Gosh I've done quite a bit of work today.
Three bio paper three. All scored B :/ must get damn high to make up for paper two lost mark!!

And then I slacked
LOLOL
I've been addicted to pewdiepie omg
I should block YouTube for a while :/

Yeah I passed my manperiod time without doing anything stupid
Just kidding, I did stupid stuff
I might need to seek some help :/

Well, emotion has been more or less stable lately so I guess I'm pretty fine.
I can't believe how fast time flies though.
It has been like what, 5 months since that.
And I actually am still counting :/
*deep sigh*
I'm an idiot for letting my emotion screwing me up more than it should have.

On an unrelated note, I feel so fat.
Never exercise, eat so much D:
I should go an exercise soon.
But my lazy fat arse just won't budge :/
Okay I'm gonna run one of the days. (the thing I always say but never keep)

Almost 11
I should sleep soon since got church tmrw.

Toodles~

Hatiku berharap mungkin engkau kan berubah
Bisa mencintai aku seperti hatiku padamu
Hujan badai kan ku tempuh, bintang di langit kan ku raih
Bila harus ku kan merayu untuk cintaku bagimu

Cintamu tlah menjadi candu
Cintamu tlah membuatku membisu
Cintamu oh seindah lagu
Membuatku tak bisa berpaling darimu

"Life ain't fairy tale. Wake the fuck up."

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A Lonely September, uh I mean November.

I'm sitting here all by myself just trying to think of something to do
Trying to think of something anything, just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
and I didn't  mean to get so close and share what we did
and I didn't mean to fall in love but I did
and you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did

I'm sitting here trying to convince myself that you're not that one for me
But the more I think the less I believe it and the more I want you here with me
You know that holidays are coming up. I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas times with you, just kill me if I'm on my own


Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
and I didn't  mean to get so close and share what we did
and I didn't mean to fall in love but I did
and you didn't mean to love me back
I know it's not the smartest thing to do
We just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight
One more chance tonight

I'm sitting here trying to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand, we've got nothing left to prove


Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
and I didn't  mean to get so close and share what we did
and I didn't mean to fall in love but I did
and you didn't mean to love me back 

and I didn't mean to meet you then when we were just kids
and I didn't mean to give you chills the way that I kiss
and I didn't mean to fall in love but I did
and you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back cause you know you did
No you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

"It's great that I feel like crap before two exams"

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Halfway there bee yachts :D

GP and Maths downed!!
While maths is quite doable, I'm concerned with my GP :/

Okay, I shouldn't dwell on it just yet.
Thursday is Chem and Friday is killer econs bio combo D:
I should really concentrate. But I no more paper to do :/

6 papers left! I'm gonna pull through this shit!

Gonna study now!!

Toodles~

Everything about you pains my envying
Your soul can't hate anything
Everything about you is so easy to love
They're watching you from above

Give me all the peace and joy in your mind
I want the peace and joy in your mind

"I'm a hardcore muse lover :3"

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Panic Station

TMRW D:
*PANIC MODE*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OKAY CALM DOWN
YOU CAN FKING DO THIS

I can't believe time flies so goddamned fast :/
My life of a JC student is ending soon.
A lot of things have happened
Shit happens
Blahblahblah etc etc.
I don't feel like elaborating now lol

All the work that I've put in for the past two or so years
Everything comes down to this
The freaking A level.
Hopefully everyone can make it

Okay it's almost 1 am
I should sleep soon

Toodles~

Doubts will try to break you
Unleash your heart and soul
Troubles will surround you
Start taking some control

Stand up and deliver
Your wildest fantasy
Do what the fuck you want to
There's no one to appease

Oh 1,2,3,4 fire's in your eyes
And this chaos it defies imagination
Oh 5,6,7,8 minus 9 lives
You've arrived at panic station

"Give me strength to beat the crap out of this Goliath of mine"

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Unnatural Selection

A level is about two weeks away
Fuck

I've been slacking the past few days :/
Must do some work later!!

So the other day I was out for supper with yeejia and ivanka for early bday celebration :D
I feel so blessed to have such awesome friends :3
*happy*

Then yesterday I was third wheeling as usual LOL
watched taken 2
pretty boring actually :/

Okay nth else that is interesting happened the past few days.

Toodles~

Counterbalance this commotion
We're not droplets in the ocean

They laugh as they watch us fall
The lucky don't care at all
No chance for fate
It's unnatural selection
I want the truth

"I would love to see how everything will turn out in the end"

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Madness

It's sunday morning
230 am
I'm still not asleep
LOL

I feel like a good boy since I've been studying :D
But I haven't do gp. Should do it later.

For no apparent reason, my right wrist began hurting
Hopefully it isn't serious or because of my past idiocy :/

Hmm, I should totally sleep now
But I don't feel like going to my room.
I dunno why :/

Ah and for the first time, I finally tried playing slender.
Scary as fuck.
I screamed like a little bitch in broad daylight lol
People weren't kidding when they say it scares the shit out of them LOL
But sth about it draws me in
It's prolly the adrenalin rush hahaha

Ah my friend is being this pessimist.
It's so hard to give advice but I should not give up. Must be there for his support no matter what!!

Okay I think I should really force myself to sleep

Toodles~


I, I can't get this memories out of my mind
And some kind of madness is starting to evolve
I, I tried so hard to let you go
But some kind of madness is swallowing me whole

I have finally seen the light
I have finally realized
What you mean

"I'm slowly plunging into madness"

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Survival

I actually studied econs on my own today omg
Not exactly on my own since geng was there to force me lol
Still so proud of myself :D

Reached home 11 plus lol
*too much mugging*

Just showered and I should sleep soon.
Tmrw got chem paper :/

Toodles~

P.S.
Here comes an awesome song :D

Race, life's a race
And I'm gonna win
Yes I'm gonna win
I'll light the fuse
And I'll never lose
And I choose to survive
Whatever it takes
You won't pull ahead
I'll keep up the pace
And I'll reveal my strength
To the whole human race
Yes I'm prepared
To stay alive
I won't forgive, vengeance is mine
And I won't give in
Because I choose to thrive
Yes I'm gonna win

"The moment when you have mood swing so bad you feel like punching every living things you see"

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When you're bored in the middle of econs lesson

"And that's how I feel most of the time, lately"

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I start again :(

Boohoo
It still hurts a little now ><
Gosh why am I so stupid

On an unrelated note, I finished two papers today :D
Seems like my math is deproving slowly :/
Nope thats not gonna happen

Tmrw econs mock
Haven't study yet :/

Today homily like damn funny sia
I like how Father Richard keep joking about marriage :D

Okay I should shower first now.

Toodles~

is our secret safe tonight
And are we out of sight
Will our world come tumbling down?
Will they find our hiding place
Is this our last embrace
Or will the world stop caving in?

"Yes, I'm a complete idiot when it comes handling my own emotion"

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I'm getting unstable again :(

Damn what's wrong with me.
My manperiod is coming again I assume.
:/

It's 1230
I'm nowhere near sleepy.
And I have consult in the morning
Fml

ARGH IM STARVING
but eating this late will make me one fat bastard :(

I should catch some sleep ASAP :/

Toodles~

it's bugging me, grating me and twisting me around
Yeah I'm endlessly caving in
And turning inside out

Cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
And I'm breaking out
I'm breaking out
Last chance to lose control.

"I miss the feeling of happiness when you're beside me"

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Map of the Problematique~

Gosh I've been slacking the whole day :/
Tomorrow must do at least some work
Cos I think I'm gonna slack throughout today :p

I'M STILL LISTENING TO MUSE HAHAHA
1 MONTH REPLAYING TWENTY SONGS
AND I'M NOT SICK OF IT
WTH HAHAHA

Fear and panic in the air
I want to be free
From desolation and despair
And I feel like everything I sow
Is being swept away
Well I refuse to let you go

I can't get it right
Get it right
Since I met you

Loneliness be over
When will this loneliness be over

Life will flash before my eyes
So scattered and lost
I want to touch the other side
And no one thinks they are to blame
Why can't we see
That when we bleed we bleed the same

I can't get it right
Get it right
Since I met you

Loneliness be over
When will this loneliness be over
Loneliness be over
When will this loneliness be over

"Yeah, when will this loneliness be over?"

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You will suck the life out of me

Gp mock prelims in two days!! And I haven't studied yet

Oh I'm officially a math tutor :D

Prelims result:

*drum rolls*

Math A
Chem A
Bio B
Econs D
GP D

Not to be an ingrate, but I'm pretty disappointed with my H1 subjects :/

Either way, I should not be conceited and get complacent with the other subjects (which I have been these past few days)

Tmrw gonna go u town!!
Been a while since I've gone there :)

Dilemma
My phone now 30%
Charge overnight kill batteries :(

oh well, porty charger hopefully still have some juice left

I should be sleeping soon
But then my eyes are wide awake since I just showered :/

Okay should force myself to sleep now

Toodles~

Bury it, I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out

"Your beauty is my poison"

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Sometimes, I really hate myself

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Bad Worse Worst

It's Sunday night
I should be sleeping
But my eyes refuse to close

Went to Ivanka's church!
Meet new friends :D

What I learnt in church today
(ouuhhh sth new in my blog eh?)
Contentment:
1) you're not born with contentment or discontentment. It's from within and you must learn to be content in whatever situation.
2) Don't just look up(compare yourself with the more fortunate) but look down (compare to the more unfortunate ones) and be grateful for what you have
3) sth that i really need but have yet to learn. Forget the past. Not like forget literary. But learn to let go. Don't think of "if only", "I should have", "what if" etc.
4) live one day at a time. Don't think too much of the future. Fearing too much will just increase the chance of failure. Today is the only day that you can be sure that you're still alive. Live it to the fullest.

Quite a bit of deep stuff huh
Yeap I should really be contented with what I have, not to be discontented with what I don't have.

On an unrelated note, I have been in a post prelim mode aka slacking too much. I should start mugging again soon.
Tmrw bio paper I'll just heck it and do whatever I can.
As is just a month away. No time to slack anymore.
*slapself*

Okay I should be sleeping

Toodles~

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dreamt of you
My beautiful

Tip toe to your room
A starlight in the gloom
I only dream of you
And you never knew

SING FOR ABSOLUUUUUUUUUTION
I'LL BE SINGING
And falling from your grace

"Bad: you fell for a person
Worse: it fell apart
Worst: you're still not over it
Irony: I just posted stuff about letting go"

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PRELIMS FINISH
AWESUM POSSUM

But then a level will be only 1.5 month away.
:okay:

Watched Resident Evil yesterday
Milla jovovich is hawt
Sienna Guillory is also hawt
But I think the movie is just so so.
After that went to play billiard
Then eat at din tai Foong
Awesome xiaolongbao :D

Got back maths paper one
It was better than I expected
But it's pretty sad to see how others aren't scoring so well :(
Oh well, I believe they all can pull through for A's :)

Slept too much
I feel tired instead :/
Woke up at 1130 HAHAHAHA I'm a pig

I have no idea what I'm gonna do today.
I'll just slack I guess

Shall go shower first

Toodles~

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty isn't just a mask
I want to exorcise the demon from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

"It's painful to realize how much my heart still long for you."

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The poem
It's so
Beautiful
*sniff*

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Halfway there!!

Halfway through prelims!!
Pressing on!!

The shittiest econs done!!
Heck I'll prolly won't do too well for that. But I do believe there should be improvements from the previous papers.

Maths paper 2 on Monday
Hopefully not as killer as paper 1

On a more unrelated notes
It's been 2 months
Honestly speaking, I'm not over it :/
Hahaha weird thing to say here since you're prolly the only reader.
Ah fuck it, I should just don't think about it. It'll just get me emo.

OH MY PORTY CHARGER IS HERE
YAY

And I'm still addicted to muse
DAMN YOU IVANKA
I'm like only spamming 12 songs now :/

I should shower soonnnn

Toodles~

Far away
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from my memories
of the people who cares if I live or die

The starlight
I will be chasing your starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know of its worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms

"I miss the days when I can wake up to those dreams without feeling sucky afterwards"

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Muse :)

I got addicted with muse (again)
All her fault lol

Somewhat productive these past few days

Two days left to prepare
Gonna burn all the fuel I have for prelim

Should sleep soon

Toodles~

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces
of life I had before

"Only when you've lost it that you realize how precious it is"

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The moment when one of your closest friends can be a total insensitive prick :(

The urge keeps appearing and get stronger, but hurting my hand with prelim around the corner wouldn't do me any good :/

Thinking about it wouldn't do me any good either.
Change topic!

Today went U town with Bao
Not as productive as last time but hey, at least manage to do two papers

And I actually ran out of things to say alr :/

Should sleep soon

Toodles~

Tell me why it's so hard to forget
Don't remind me I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

"I feel like shit, again"

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MY GP DIEDED

I told myself that I should do at least one chem paper today
ended up using com :(
I'm a bad boy  D':

And i screw up my GP
especially paper 2
Pretty badly
But no point to be sad
Too much emotion will do me no good
negative emotion i mean
I must be more emotionless.
TEACH ME, KRISTEN STEWART SENSEI

Tmrw teacher's day celeb!
Then gonna meet up with the sec school assholes :D

Okay, I'm so darn sleepy I dozed off while writing this halfway :/

Toodles~

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium

"I miss the days when I could laugh happily with you by my side"

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And you're so awesome it hurts~

You are
Aye
Double You
Eee
Ess
Oh
Em
Eee
What does that spell?
It spell you did it!

Jason Mraz is legend-wait for it-dary!

Okay, here I am, using my com
It's currently 10:14pm
I have exam tmrw at 8 am
:/

GP is killing me :(
I scared I might screw this paper up

okay i'm turning more pessimistic
POSITIVE THINKING
I HAVE ONE WEEK HOLS
not exactly hols, more of a self-study period
but hey at least don't need to wake up so early

I should continue reading my GP stuff

Toodles~

"You love me. Real or not real."
"Real"

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I'm a good boy :D

I FREAKING MUGGED THE WHOLE DAY OMG
I'M SO SURPRISED MYSELF
"surprise madafaka" - doakes
10 hours of mugging during weekend is no simple feat for a lazy ass like me.

*happy*

On an unrelated note, I got another scratch on my hand this morning. And still have no idea how I got it :/

Okay I should be sleeping now.
Nighty people :D

Toodles~

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality

"Thinking about it wouldn't do me any good and thus I shall just cast it aside"

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OMG ONE WEEK

I'm so screwed
Tmrw got bio planning practice and chem mock paper 2. I'll prolly bomb both of em :/

I ate subway for dinner, footlong one
*fatmax*

I'm on my bed
Should be trying to sleep but my phone distracting me.

Dilemma
Phone 15%
If charge overnight I'll damage my battery
Don't charge then not enough batt for tmrw :/

Prelim is a week away
And I feel totally unprepared
:O
I'm so stupid for not feeling the urgency to study
*slap self*

Okay I should really sleep
I lacked sleep this past few days.

Toodles~

But baby there you go again making me love you
Yeah I stopped using my head let it all go
Got you stuck on my body like a tattoo
And now I'm feeling stupid crawling back to you

"Am I still messed up?? I don't know but I know I should not let that affect me any more than it has"

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Strangers Like Me~

TARZAN IS ON DISNEY CHANNEL
OMG CHILDHOOD MOVIE
LOVE IT SO MUCH

CLAYTON IS AN ASSHOLE

On an unrelated notes, Prelim is just around the corner.
9 days left to prepare for GP and another week for the core papers.
And I'm still pretty much lazing around

My knuckle has a scratch on it and i have no idea where did I get it from :/
It bled a little in the morning.

Chewing gum is nice
and I just learnt that eating one is not illegal in Singapore.
The one criminalized is the act of selling or buying one.
So, don't charge your friends for a piece of gum, that'll make you a criminal lol

BOUGHT THE PROM TIX
EX SIA
BUT ME ME ME SO EXCITED ME SO EXCITED
ME GONNA HAVE A PROM TODAY
(okay, not today, i can't think of a way to fit 6th december into the song)

Okay, I should start doing my work soon

Toodles~


Every gesture, every move that she makes
Makes me feel like never before
Why do I have
This growing need to be beside her 

Ooo, these emotions I never knew
Of some other world far beyond this place
Beyond the trees, above the clouds
I see before me a new horizon 

"You're still running even after all this time?"

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I"m so messed up :/

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A future without you is a future without meaning~

It's been a while since I make a proper, long post

What have I been doing in my life so far:

Still have a high tendency of getting random emotion outburst

I haven't been studying
I keep slacking
and this is amazing since prelims is just about 3 weeks away
and A's is 80 days ish away
wtf am i doing with my life


I'm currently starving
I just realised i skipped dinner :/


I totally need a new jaw
locked ytd and this morning :/

I WANT CHOCOLATE OMG
BUT NO CHOCOLATE
ME SAD :(

KFC for lunch
spammed cheese like one fatass

I miss those days where i can slack without feeling guilty later
:(

Okay I should sleep soon
I didn't get enough sleep ytd

Toodles~

Cause there’ll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There’ll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday it will rain

"Will I ever let go? I don't know, only time will tell"

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I'm weird in a way that even I myself can't understand.
:/

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D:

I've been having series of emotional instability these past few days
I'm in need of help :/

And I know that I never told you
that I loved you
Now it's too late
And I don't know how to hold you
but I want to
I don't want to leave this place
All I know is broken

"It's pretty sad when you want to cry yet no tears come out"

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Argh I'm so mad at myself >:(

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Who loves indo?? I do(n't)!!

I love my country. I really do.
But it's been pretty hard lately with all the bullshit that really pisses me off.

1) rhoma irama: don't vote for the guy as governor. Reason: "HE'S CHINESE AND NOT A MUSLIM"
I mean like wtf bro? GLOBALISED WORLD. HIGH INTERCONNECTEDNESS. AND IT COMES DOWN TO RELIGION AND RACIAL SPITE?? Seriously this guy pisses me off. I have nth against Muslim. Many are cool people. But this kind of people disgust me. Sure, Indonesia has the biggest Muslim community. BUT THINK WITH BRAIN CAN?? JUST BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME BELIEF YOU'RE JUST GONNA VOTE HIM DOWN?? (FYI, the dude running for governor is a pretty leader IMO, he was the mayor of my hometown) Idiotic Indonesian is idiotic -.-

2) Police force: "oh I'm not letting you check my org for corruption. Let me check it myself". Really?? Even if that is against the law?? And what is the president doing?? Nth!! Gosh my love for my government can't be described in words.

Sure, no country has perfect governance. But this is too much.

Done ranting. If I write somemore I scared later they find me and chop me up :p

On an unrelated note, It's been a lil more than three weeks. And I can say that I'm managing well.

YESTERDAY WAS AWESOME (NO SARCASM)
Lyen's bday :D
Walked all the way from orchard to lau pa sat :D
Mind you we were in hipster attire and one of us (mostly me though) is wearing this big ass cardboard with happy birthday on it. It was damn cool of you think about it.

Last thing to say, I've lost my drive to study somewhat for now, which is pretty bad considering prelims coming up in three weeks ish time :/ I SHALL SLAP MYSELF EVERY TIME I PROCRASTINATE.

Back of my hand still have reddish patches of broken capillaries because of that game :( Kwan is a really good hitter.

Hey this is one of the longest post I have ever written in my entire life. LOLOL xD

P.S. I love gangnam style <3

Toodles~

And if you know, how do you get up from an all time low
I'm in pieces
Seems like peace is the only thing I'll never know


"I've never remembered my dream since then, but that's a good thing since it'll prolly be nightmares when I woke up"

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Sucks to be me

It sucks when you miss a person you're not supposed to.
Why is it so hard to let go?


Kimi ga inai mirai
Imi nado nai mirai
Nido to hanashitari wa shinai kara
Kimi to nozomu sekai
Mita koto nai sekai
Jikuu o koete haruka tabisuru bokura

"I miss those days when i can just look at you without feeling any pain"

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Yellow umbrella

Yesterday there was a himym s7 marathon
and i actually spent almost the whole day watching it.
(sarcasm) I totally have a life (/sarcasm)

and i haven't done GP yet :p


Mencoba bertahan sekuat hati
Layaknya karang yang
Dihempas sang ombak
Jalani hidup dalam buai belaka
Serahkan cinta tulus di dalam takdir


"I wish you could be more of the yellow umbrella girl instead of Robin Scherbatsky"

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Not only an asshole, I'm also a retard

The awkward moment when you realize that you just went full retard

My knuckles still hurt :/

I'm supposed to be doing Chem
but then I feel so very lazy
D:

MY FACE HAVE PIMPLE OUTBURST
AND MY EMOTION ISN'T EXACTLY STABLE FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS OR SO
ZOMG
I'M HAVING MY PERIOD

okay my nose is also acting up again :/
sianz

Toodles~

And I swear
If you come back in my life
I'll be there till the end of time
Oh yeah
And I swear
I'll keep you right by my side
Cause baby you're the one I want


"As much as I'm trying to tell myself to let go, I just can't seem to find a way to do so"

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I'm a certified asshole

It's been a little more than a week
Yet things don't go as I want it to be
:(


I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
Cause I don't know how to make the feelings stop

"I'm sorry, I just broke my promise. Again"

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As much as I'd like to be happy, I still feel like shit on the inside.

"It's only been a few days, but i can't bear it"

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EMMA STONE IS HOT

AMAZING SPIDERMAN
Movie was so-so
BUT BUT
EMMA STONE IS SUPER DUPER HOT
<3

Kay today's lesson was quite okay
econs was a boring lesson as usual :p
I need to start appreciate the subject
else i don't think i can improve ><
And seem like i'll fail this one quite badly
:/

Ah anyway, it's quite lateeee
a lil sleepy, but wasshing machine not done yet :/
I'll wait for awhile before sleeping then :D

Toodles~

You're beautiful
It's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
Cause I'll never be with you


"Help me fill the emptiness in my heart, anyone?"

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I've gotta keep my heads up

When life's being a bitch, might as well as just make fun of it to brighten up :D

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If I'm dreaming, wake me up
I'm in a fucking nightmare

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make it like it never happened and then we were nothing


"Why did things get so fucked up so easily?"

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I'M AN OPTIMIST!! :D

Things happen and I just can't help but start to be more philosophical LOL
Is our life fixed to a predetermined destiny or are we able to alter fate itself through our own course of actions?
I'm taught that everything is prepared by God, yet we are also given free will by God.
Wouldn't this contradict each other? In a way, It makes it like we're given an illusion of freedom. Like a monkey living in a closed area with wall paintings of jungle, we may believe that we are free, while reality shows otherwise.
But hey, i'm more of an optimist. I still think that we aren't fixed to a destiny but rather, can change our fate.
Using the illustration earlier, it can just be implied that the monkey is destined to forever live in that room, believing he's free. As for me, I'll be a monkey who would question myself. "Hey, I knocked into a wall and realise it's just a painting. I need to achieve my true freedom and get out of this hell hole. Is there an EXIT anywhere?"
So yeah, I do believe we're capable of determining our own fate.
About how things are meant to be or not meant to be? It's not that i deny that some things are uncontrollable (CA OF CONCESSION LOL), but i do think that things can and will change over time. Scientifically speaking, there are parallel universe branching out of our universe every moment. What's meant to be in one universe does not necessary means the same in another.
So, sure, it may not be matter of giving up or not. but I just want you to know that whatever happen, i'll stick in what I believe in.

'Nuff said

Toodles~

Can we fall, one more time?
Stop the tape and rewind
Oh and if you walk away I know I'll fade
Cause there's nobody else
It's gotta be you
Only you

"Just a piece of my thought"

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When you smile, I smile :)

So far
Chem: B
Maths: A
Bio: B prolly
Econs: absolutely no idea
GP: D

and I can't complain because some pretty girl will just give me the wth look and start hitting me
Shall be happy with these marks thennnn :D

I feel like learning martial arts
Just for the fun of it
LOL xD

Suetning, get well soon!!
Next time when i say go to sleep don't say no can??

My pastamania just came
NOMNOM

I think i'm falling sick
I can feel my throat getting dry and a lil pain
Or maybe i just didn't drink enough water :p

I just won a fifa match against com
LIKE FINALLY
GOSH THEY ARE LIKE SO BLOODY HARD
HARDER THAN PLAYING WITH ARKAR OR DAN LOLOL

I haven't showered yet
Me smelly
XD

Xu asking me go kayaking level 2
But bo time, bo money
Next year when have lotsa free time :D

okay I think i'm done pouring out my randomness

Toodles~

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart
Always

"I'm too stubborn to give up and I just wish that you did the same."

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I'm supposed to be asleep

It's a quarter after midnight
and still awake.
Sian

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it's only right
to think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together

"You keep running through my mind. Am I doing the same in yours?"

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I'M HOME ALONE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOUCHES YCW AND XWJ
YOU GUYS MAKE MY LIFE AWESOME (somewhat xP)

My sis is in school
so i'm alone at home :/
And i'm a little hungry
NOMNOMing cake now :)

I'm so screwed
I have no mood to study now
As much as i hate exam, i really need one soon if i were to have motivation to study

AND I'M SUPER ULTRA BORED
SIAN
I DUNNO WHAT TO DO
ACTUALLY, i'm supposed to do GP
BUT then, as mentioned earlier, i don't feel like doing anything study related
Ms Sin is gonna be so sad :(

I'll find sth to do now

Toodles~


Trying to think of something anything just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind


"Know that you're beautiful. Don't let anyone says otherwise, not even yourself"

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HD VISION

I finally got my new specs

my degree increase by about 100 each :(

I'll need to cut my com time D:

Anyway I'm gonna play pool soon :D

Toodles~

I was thinking about her

Thinking about me

Thinking about us

What we're gonna be

Open my eyes

It was only just a dream

"Will we ever be together? I don't know. Only God knows"

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BUSY DAY

Went to watch prometheus with Sis :D
It was pretty nice :)

Next, met up with Luci, Liza, Arlyn, xuxu and boon :D
LUCI IS LIKE SO CUTE
BECAUSE SHE'S LIKE SO SMALL HAHAHAHA XD
she's like a little sister even though she's older than me xP
Went to eat mac ice cream with them hahaha

Then went to vivo to meet up with chinchin and her bf, plus luke and Korean.
Ate at crystal jade :D
so waste money, ytd sushi tei, today crystal jade T.T
But it was pretty awesome since i miss them so bloody much

Went back home damn late
Like 1 am
cos i was talking to xuxu near his pool LOLOL
my sis was like damn worried cos my batt died
Sorry >< won't happen again! i'll tell you earlier if i go back that late!

Now, I'm at home, gonna sleep soon prolly :)

I a bit sad cos we forgot to take a single photo :(
Toodles~


Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you


"You know, every time i say I love you, I mean it, from the bottom of my heart"

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HURRAY

YAY DONE WITH BT2
LIKE FINALLY
xD
HAPPYMAX

Gonna watch prometheus with my sis tmrw :D
then dinner with douches and douchesses who I miss very very much :D
wew busy day tmrw :D

Just now went to Kar's house
Trash them in Fifa LOL
7-3 and 7-1 :D
I'm so totally gonna rub it in their faces xD

After that went dinner with bao, bryan, tiff, sarah, tanli and chunani couple
sushi tei :D
and daily scoop was awesome xD

Like shiok only :D

And last episode of VGHS :/
Gonna watch it before I sleep!!

Toodles~


Mestinya telah kusadari
Betapa perih cinta tanpa balasmu
Harusnya tak ku paksakan
Bila akhirnya kan melukaiku


"I love you and there is nothing that you can do about it"

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I'M SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING

Just because there are plenty of fish in the sea doesn't mean that any of them will want to be around you LOL

Okay I'm supposed to be studying for bio and chem ><

Toodles~

I don't ever want to lose this feeling
I don't want to spend a moment apart
Cause you bring out the best in me
like no one else can do
That's why i'm by your side
That's why I love you

"I'd love to one day fly on the back of a dragon"

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I'm arrogant WTS

Hey, that's really nice of you, calling me arrogant and all. But take a second to ponder, we haven't been in contact for like, what, 6 months? maybe more? And then you expect me to let you know about how I am and everything. Yeah sure, that makes me the arrogant one. Not like you didn't tell me about yourself for the past six months or anything -.-

Okay i dunno why am I bitching about her.

maybe it's true that I am a bit arrogant for not keeping in contact with her

But hey, we've never been close anyway.

I haven't been in contact with my closer friends and you expect me to do the same for you?

You didn't contact me either before this, wouldn't that mean you're also arrogant

okay i'll stop bitching

I think i'm just butthurt because i'm called an arrogant prick.

*bitch mode off*

Putting that aside, I'll talk about sth else

Well, actually i don't have anything else to talk about since I blogged yesterday

and it's only morning

I put this here just so my post won't only be about me bitching about somebody

It's Sunday!!

And tmrw is still holiday

And later got Spain vs Italy!! :D

Gonna sleep early laterrrrr

okay i should start doing work now

Toodles~

Where were you when everything was falling apart?

All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang

And all I needed was a call that never came

To the corner of 1st and Amistad

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me

Lying on the floor surrounded, surrounded

Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?

Just a little late, you found me, you found me

"I miss those time when I can hang out without caring about schoolwork :("

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Meow :3

Stupid guy
Isn't it pathetic of him to be so hopelessly in love with a girl who he knows will not return the same feeling?
Told him to move on
He just won't budge
I was like "Dude, use your head! There are other girls"
But he's just so stubborn :/

ZOMG amazing spiderman is alr on the cinema

Okay I should be studying soon

Toodles~

Oh it's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I can't change your mind


Oh it's like I'm trying to turn around on a one-way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me and I, I'm trying to see
Maybe we're not meant to be


"Dude, you're such a retard"

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Urgh :(

My jaw is giving me problem again :(
It started with clicking noise, which is just a mild distraction.
Then, it locks every now and then,, which is really a pain in the ass.
Lately, it hurts in the middle of my meal (usually after i open my mouth).
I feel like destroying my jaw and replacing it with an artificial one.
Pretty sure it will give me less problem
(FYI, i'm typing this while having a locked jaw)

That aside, I've been pretty much a forever alone today

(LOL)

I'm re-reading a manga again :/
*no-life*
and i'm supposed to be studying since my exam is not over yet :/

okay, it suddenly just unlocked by itself
(yay)

Well, gonna catch some sleep soon

Toodles~


Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you


Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you can not do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.

"Do you know that 3 sqrt(-1) is less than 9u?"

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WE'RE HALFWAY THERE

YAY HALFWAY THROUGH BT2
:D

Tmrw no school
But prolly gonna go out to study :3

and people are falling sick :/
Get well soon people!!
Especially you suetning, suddenly got fever ><

I'm still wondering whether i should watch the match later :/
I think I will!
So i'm gonna sleep soon LOL :D

Toodles~


Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back to the the place where we meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
So I'm not moving


"I love you too much :("

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I'm a genius

Another holiday coming to an enddddd
:/

I haven't finished my revision
and exam is on monday
And I still have the nerve to post sth on my blog


I miss school
Correction: I miss the people from school

I'M GONNA DIE FOR ECONS
ZOMG
OH NOEZ

My A-hole alter ago is out again :/
Prepare for trouble
and make it double!

I don't know when am I getting my new phone :/
Still using my old buddy nokia E63

Went to meet teh geng ytd :D
and she's just back from her Cambodia trip
She sound so terribly ill with her flu and stuff
but still as lively as a 4 year-old having sugar rush
xP

Okay I should go back to study again

Toodles~


Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time


As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
(It's ironic that I choose this song, yet, i'm still the lazy ass douchebag that I was :p)

"I know it's not gonna work out, but I just can't let go yet"

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You know all the things I’ve said
You know all the things that we’ve done
and things I gave to you
There’s a chance for me to say
how precious you are in my life
and you know that it’s true


To be with you is all that I need
cause with you my life seems brighter
and these are all the things I wanna say


I will fly into your arms
and be with you till the end of time
Why are you so far away
You know it’s very hard for me
to get myself close to you


You’re the reason why I stay
You’re the one who cannot believe
our love will never end
It is always in my dream
You’re the one who cannot see this
How could you be so blind


To be with you is all that I need
cause with you my life seems brighter
and these are all the things I wanna say


I will fly into your arms
and be with you till the end of time
Why are you so far away
You know it’s very hard for me
to get myself close to you


Toodles~

"I wanna see you :("

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Hey I really fell far

Went to watch Madagascar 3 just now!!
It's retardedly funny :P

AND LIKE FINALLY
HAD MY FILL OF FRIED PIDGEON
(Yes, I'm evil enough to eat pidgeon, and they taste better than chicken IMO)

Now i'm home on my bed
And i'm still slacking
Haven't finished my bio notes yet ><
Bleh, I dunno when will I ever finish it :/

Seems like you're still occupying most of my head
Why am I so like that?
How far have I fallen, really?
That got me wondering.
It doesn't hurt much anymore
But it still isn't a very nice feeling to keep thinking of you
><

I should find a way to distract myself
If there is any :/

Toodles~

Aku takkan bisa hidup tanpa dia
Dia yang membuat aku bahagia
Tolong aku untuk melupakan dia
Sungguh hanya itu yang aku pinta


"Get out of my head please, I'm begging you"

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I'M BACK HOME

Yesterday just went through a long, pain-in-the-ass(literally) 10 hours car trip
like finally home sweet home!! :)
and i finally got a hair cuttt :D
too lazy to post photo (as usual)

I haven't been studying :/
it's kind of useless for me to bring back my stuff to indo :p
since i'm going back pretty soon
like burden to carry luggage only -.-

You know
I've been thinking
about you
all day
like literally
:(
I guess I've fallen too hard huh??
heh, falling so hard when i have exams coming up
Life's being a bitch to me

Shouldn't pour out my emotion further
I'll turn emo and shit :/

Toodles~

I kept everything inside
and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time
when I tried so hard and get so far
But in the end, it doesn't even matter

"I miss you bad"

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West Java trip!

I feel better lately
And seems like emotion has become stabler
but she's still running through my mind most of the time :/

Keeping this stuff aside,
I've been out since i reached Indo
Haven't reached home yet :p
Went to lots of places
facebook for photos; i'm too lazy to upload here

Just a little update of my life, cos i've nth better to do now

Toodles~


And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
Cause I'm shouting your name all over town
I'm swearing if I go back now
I can change her mind, turn it all around
And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words
She'll listen this time even though they're slurred
So, I dialed her number and confess to her
I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing


"Shouldn't you be tired from running for the past whole week??"

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Can anybody find me somebody to love? 
Each morning I get up I die a little 
Can barely stand on my feet 
Take a look in the mirror and cry 
Lord what you're doing to me 
I have spent all my years in believing you 
But I just can't get no relief, Lord! 
Somebody, somebody 
Can anybody find me somebody to love? 


I work hard every day of my life 
I work till I ache my bones 
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own - 
I get down on my knees 
And I start to pray 
Till the tears run down from my eyes 
Lord - somebody - somebody 
Can anybody find me - somebody to love? 


(He works hard) 


Everyday - I try and I try and I try - 
But everybody wants to put me down 
They say I'm goin' crazy 
They say I got a lot of water in my brain 
Got no common sense 
I got nobody left to believe 
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah 


Oh Lord 
Somebody - somebody 
Can anybody find me somebody to love? 


Got no feel, I got no rhythm 
I just keep losing my beat 
I'm ok, I'm alright 
Ain't gonna face no defeat 
I just gotta get out of this prison cell 
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord! 


Find me somebody to love 
Can anybody find me somebody to love? 

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I miss you :(

You know
As much as i'm trying to keep you away from my mind
you just keep coming back


I miss you
when i'm not supposed to.
I still love you
even if we aren't meant to be
and that sucks
a lot


Kau beri rasa yang berbeda
mungkin kusalah mengartikannya
yang kurasa cinta
tetapi hatiku
selalu meninggikanmu


"I fell too deep and just like a frog who hit the bottom of the well, it's hard to climb back up" 

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I'm still alive but i'm barely breathing

So it happened
I'm sad
I wanted to tear my heart out
for being such a retard
But is there any need to?
It's damaged enough as it is anyway

So i'm sitting here all by myself
Just trying to think of sth to do
Anything that keeps me from thinking of you
But i just can't
All the time we spent together
All the memories
It just keep coming back to me
and it hurts

I'm supposed to be fine
I've been broken several times before anyway
There isn't supposed to be any difference
But no, it differ
A LOT
it hurts me much more than i've ever before
Heck, i'll admit that I cried like little biatch
I've just fallen that far

I need time
to let it heal
to mend it
to pick all the broken pieces and to piece it back together
Give me time
And i'll be fine
In fact, i'll be stronger than ever before

Talked it out with my best bud
and you've gotta admit she's amazing
to be able to pick me up when i'm at the lowest like that
gosh what would i do if I never have a friend like you

I just wondered why
of all the time
it's now
when it's supposed to be happy days
when i'm supposed to smile for others' happiness
it pains me to put on a facade, needing to smile to hide the tears away
Oh well, everything happens for a reason


And if you ever read this
DON'T YOU EVER FEEL GUILTY
because none of this is your fault to begin with
It's mine
Never yours
So, don't feel sad because of this
Cos that will hurt me even more

I'm pretty much done pouring my heart out
Thanks for reading this piece of crap anyway

Toodles~

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when i'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces


"You know, I always thought you're the one, and I see a future in us"

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I'm stupid

I'm completely retarded :/
Of all the time, it's this year, where it plays a major role in deciding my future ><

My emotion hasn't been exactly stable lately
And I haven't been able to thinking straight :(
I just did something stupid
Harming my own body is not sth that is good for me.
(No worries, it's not as bad as cutting myself, i just punched the wall too hard)

Anyway, now that my head is much clearer,
I'm eating my ban mee
and it tastes like crap
cos i left it for like almost an hour before eating it :p
oh well, i'm hungry, what to do

And i need another outlet to let out my pent up emotions :/
Martial arts sounds like cool only XD
But with the current busy A level year
doubt i'll have time for that
I should prolly do some rock climbing
Sth that i find enjoyable, even though i suck badly XP

Chrome just betrayed me
crashing for no apparent reason :(
(still  better than IE)

Ah one of my favourite anime is on animax in a couple of minutes :D
Full-Metal Alchemist!!
It has a pretty damn nice story
and i re-read the manga for like 5 times alr :p
(yes i have no life)

Ah i'm done letting out

Toodles~

It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone and I need you know
I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control
And I need you know
And I don't know how I can live without
I just need you know


"Whatever happens, just know that i'll never fail to love you <3"

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Just to let you know, I miss you
A LOT

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I'm like a sloth

YAY I'VE BEEN SLACKING FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS :D
LOLOL
I'm not supposed to be proud of it though :/

I'm currently on my bed
doing nth
I just finished a whole season of some youtube series
LOLOL
I have no life :p

I got a mug from my RCIA facilitator
Hahaha but i'm too lazy to take a photo to post it xP

I think i should start work soon
Like maybe read a bit on chem
Or maybe do housework
Cos my laundry piles up like nobody's business :p

alrighty then
I shall wash clothes and do some ironing :D

Toodles~

I've always lived like this
Keeping it comfortable distance
And up till now I've sworn to myself
that i'm content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk
But you are the only exception


"Just to let you know, I need you as much as I need oxygen <3"

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IT'S ALR JUNE ZOMG

I've been a good boy because i studied so much :D
Though only for bio :p
I finished making notes for three core topics alr XD
3 more to go :D


Maths i still refuse to do because i'm a cocky bastard :p
For now at least


Chem i'll start soon
My priority is bio cos it's harder to get an A :/


Econs
I shall not comment


And time flies
I feel like i've only stepped in SA for orientation a few weeks ago
Now, i'm already halfway J2
BT2 in a month
Prelim in 3-4 months
And As a month after that
Time really flies


And i've known you guys from 11s14 for like one half year
It's like so fast.
Soon we will part ways to follow our own dreams.
Though hopefully, we will still stay in contact
and you won't be somebody that i used to know
BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CUT ME OFF
MAKE IT LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED AND THAT WE WERE NOTHING


lol the song is stuck in my head

Anyway, i'm still recovering from my flu
Pretty sure will recover by tmrw :)

And my little dearies gonna fly off to Kinabalu tmrw
Jia you!! Enjoy your climb alright??
It will be an awesome and unforgettable experience :D

Okay I gonna stop blogging naooo

Toodles~

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

"Maybe one day, I will tell you how much I love you <3"

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